A False Witness

I owe an apology. For too long I have pussyfooted around a forthright declaration of the status of my spiritual journey. I have been too worried about the possibility of someone thinking that I am boasting or that I am not humble. Ironically, my very pride has been the cause of such thinking. Well, I no longer care whether people think I am full of spiritual pride or not. I have nothing to prove in this regard.

In particular, my pussyfooting has been prevalent in my role as a Sabbath School leader. I make mention of the fact that I have “tasted” this or that aspect of a dynamic, on-fire, walk with the Lord. Truth is, I have more than merely “tasted” it; I am swimming—nearly drowning—in it!

Despite (or, perhaps, because of) the fact that I’m finding so many flaws in traditional SDA theology, I have never been more alive spiritually than I am today. Without a doubt, I know what it is like to live in the Spirit. I know the joy of letting go of everything except the Lord and finding a richer, deeper life because of it. I know what it is like to worry about nothing and to fear nothing and to have a core of joy that, despite the fact that I’m not a very emotional person, leads me to near tears every day by a simple verse read, a thought contemplated, or a song heard. As I stated in my first post, my life is the anathema of depression—despite the fact that outside circumstances really have not changed—for these are irrelevant! I know the experience that Paul described in Galatians 6:14 of being seen by the world as something dead and, reciprocally, to have no interest in things of the world. Rather, I have an unquenchable thirst for all things that have anything to do with the nature of God—which, by the way, has been the most powerful answer to prayer that I have ever experienced!

Because at one time in my life I was on the other side of this experience, I also know what it is like to not understand this experience and to see it as something “new-agish” or hokey-pokey or fanatical or of the substance of moral relativity. These are all misconceptions. The claimed experience of those radical Christians who have no doubts about whether or not they have received the Holy Spirit, or about the nature of justification or of sanctification is absolutely real. I now find that I myself am living proof.

Praise the Lord! Continue to not just break me, but to crush me for your purpose, Father!